How To Control Your Anger Before It Controls You

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You might feel mad at a person, an entity like the company you work for, or an event like a traffic jam or a political election. Wherever the feelings come from, you don’t have to let your anger get the better of you. Here are some techniques to help you stay calm.

First of all, Relax. Simple relaxation strategies, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help soothe angry feelings. Focused breathing. Use imagery. Visualize a relaxing experience from your memory or your imagination. Practice taking controlled, slow breaths that you picture coming up from your belly rather than your chest. Then, Change the way you think. When you’re angry, it’s easy to feel like things are worse than they are. Through a technique known as cognitive restructuring, you can replace unhelpful negative thoughts with more reasonable ones. Instead of thinking “Everything is ruined” for example, tell yourself  “This is frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world.” Next, Check yourself. It’s hard to make smart choices when you’re in the grips of powerful negative emotion. Try to identify warning signs that you’re starting to get annoyed. When you recognize the signs, step away from the situation or try relaxation techniques to prevent your irritation from escalating. Also, Improve your communication skills. People often jump to conclusions when they’re angry, and they can say the first thing that pops into their heads. Try to stop and listen before reacting. Then take time to think carefully about how you want to reply.

Lastly, Recognize and avoid your triggers. Give some thought to the things that make you mad.  If you know you always get angry driving downtown at rush hour, take the bus or try to adjust your schedule to make the trip at a less busy time. You can’t eliminate angry feelings, But you can make changes to the way those events affect you, and how you respond.