Why is Crying Good For The Soul

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Pandemic gave us more than enough to cry about. Researchers note that, on average, American women cry 3.5 times each month, while American men cry about 1.9 times each month. These figures may take some of us by surprise, especially as our society has often looked at crying — particularly by men — as a sign of weakness and lack of emotional stamina.

As a phenomenon that is unique to humans, crying is a natural response to a range of emotions, from deep sadness and grief to extreme happiness and joy. But is crying good for your health? The answer appears to be yes. Medical benefits of crying have been known as far back as the Classical era. Thinkers and physicians of ancient Greece and Rome posited that tears work like a purgative, draining off and purifying us. Today’s psychological thought largely concurs, emphasizing the role of crying as a mechanism that allows us to release stress and emotional pain. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain. Popular culture, for its part, has always known the value of a good cry as a way to feel better — and maybe even to experience physical pleasure.

Boys can and must cry too! From early on, boys are told that real men do not cry. When these boys grow up, they may stuff their feelings deep inside and withdraw emotionally from their loved ones, self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, or even become suicidal. Back in the 1990s, the poet Robert Bly led men’s seminars at which he taught the participants how to get in touch with their long-buried feelings of sadness and loss, and to weep openly if they needed to. There are times when crying can be a sign of a problem, especially if it happens very frequently and/or for no apparent reason, or when the crying starts to affect daily activities or becomes uncontrollable.

As challenging as it may be, the best way to handle difficult feelings, including sadness and grief, is to embrace them. It is important to allow yourself to cry if you feel like it. Make sure to take the time and find a safe space to cry if you need to. If crying becomes overwhelming or uncontrollable, see a doctor or mental health professional for evaluation and treatment.